As the end of 2019 quickly approaches, I can't help but think of how 2019 was a year full of changes for me, my home, my career, my relationships, goals, etc.
I am forever grateful for such a supportive husband and supportive people in my life who gave me hope, encouragement and love throughout all the changes. But sadly, there are going to be people who do not. It's life.
I remember times when my interactions and conversations made me feel unworthy, stupid, unloved, offended, fearful, and even sick. I call them “energy vampires” – the people who only “take” from you.
Energy vampires can be your family, friends, clients, colleagues, teachers, neighbors, lovers, or even strangers. And they come in all types…
-There is the blamer, who lays blame on everyone else without ever taking any responsibility. -The guilt trippers use shame to get what they want. -Jealous bees can never genuinely feel happiness for anyone else. -Then there are the insecure ones, who pull others down to their level of low self-esteem. -The fun haters seem unable to embrace joy. -The bullies stomp on the little guys to elevate their egos. -The Debbie downers, the whiners, the short-tempers, the gossipers, the drama queens, and the list goes on…
Whatever form they take, energy vampires have one thing in common: They cannot create or sustain their own life force in any positive manner. So they latch on and feed off on others, slowly sucking the life out of them.
I have no doubt that you know people like this. You probably care about them, too. Heck, they may even mean well! They may profess their love and care for you. That makes it hard to get away from these energy-sucking relationships.
Believe me, I know.
In the past, I tolerated energy vampires. I prided myself on being able to get along with everybody, to “suck it up” and “be the bigger person.” Maybe I was even afraid to speak my mind, or didn’t want others to see me as being difficult.
It could be that I just didn't want anyone to feel divided.
But through it all, I was not focusing on my own energy.
Here is the thing, relationships are an exchange of energy. People either uplift us… or they don’t. This past year, it horrified and surprised me how affected I was by the energy vampires in my life. In order to continue to stay and do my best, it was made clear to me that I’d need to protect my physical, emotional, and mental energy from them.
And the same goes for you. You are the guardian of your own energetic space. And to live a healthy, happy, and positive life, it is absolutely vital that you surround yourself with people who promote the same way of living. I sat down and asked myself: Who or what is draining my life energy? I challenge you to do the same. I began to evaluate which people to let go, I needed to assess the people - the qualities of energy exchanges in our lives. It's not an easy task to do, there are tears, anger, frustration, hurt, confusion, but in the end that weight was lifted off of me. I felt like a new woman, I felt free. One of the biggest things I thought about when making these decisions was:
Do you feel valued, loved, balanced, and supported? How would you describe the quality of energy exchange? Is it an equal exchange or one-sided? Can you truly be yourself without fear of being judged, mocked, or ridiculed?
1. Take a deep breath and let it go! There’s no need to allow their words or actions to linger and take up space in your heart and mind.
2. Recognize when their words or actions are unacceptable. Don’t give them permission to leech your energy.
3. Remind yourself of the purpose of your bond or connection ( why is this person in your life, how are you associated with them?), and know that you are allowed to walk away.
4. Take a step back by putting their words or actions into perspective. Their behavior is a reflection on them, not you.
5. Visualize a protective light around you, like an energy shield. This can help you remain energetically neutral without letting their words or actions cut or affect you.
6. Affirm your self-worth. You deserve to be surrounded by positive, genuine, and caring people who inspire you to be your very best.
Have a happy Monday!